Same format again with a montage of the Best Actresses and a bunch of people to introduce them. We start with Forest Whitaker, who looks like he's lost weight, paying tribute to Sandra Bullock.
What's that guy's name who was in Frost Nixon? I have no idea, but he's talking about Helen Mirren (who still looks fabulous!) and apparently he thinks she's a hottie as well.
Peter Sarsgaard introduces Carey Mulligan, who looks cute with a pixie cut. That little "Darling" tacked on to the end there was a bit patronising.
Wow, Oprah looks really great - that blue number is stunning. She's lost a lot of weight - the pressure's on when it's the Oscars, huh Oprah? She is introducing Gabby Sidibe, who is crying already.
Tucci's back, introducing Meryl Streep, who's totally going to win. I really think her white gown is lovely, so simple but elegant.
Sean Penn is here to announce the winner and he doesn't look too tanked yet - waiting until the end of te show to put him on was a risky move, Academy, but well done.
Best Actress goes to.......Sandra Bullock. COME ON PEOPLE. Gabby Sidibe kicked ass, but whatever. And Meryl Streep just got a total brush off from Bullock. BURN. Yes, Bullock, GABBY SHOULD HAVE WON. I will grudgingly admit that Bullock has great hair and her husband looks so emotional and happy for her BUT WHATEVER.
Wow, we're going straight into another award with Babs, who looks like she's tied a tablecloth around her neck and thrown a dinner jacket over it. WTF is that? Anyway, it's time for Best Director and I really hope Jimmy C. doesn't win. I feel a bit sorry for Tarantino, he hardly ever wins. Lee Daniels has awesome hair. Sometimes I wish I had an afro, it looks so awesome. Jason Reitman's bitchface is about to come out when he doesn't win - he really needs to work on that.
Here we go...Best Director: Katherine Bigelow! Woot! SUCK IT JAMES CAMERON. She looks amazing, so svelte and elegant. Satin is risky because it wrinkles, but her dress is beautiful. And a standing ovation as well! Wow, she looks about 8 feet tall.
Aw, poor Tarantino.