Well, the Logies came and went and I admit I didn't watch one second of it. I find it to be a total snooze fest. But usually the fashion is either really nice or really bad. This year, I found it to be relatively blah.
Still, let's hand out some fashion awards, shall we?
Ash Williams can help us, since he has so much bronzer on his face he actually LOOKS like a Logie. BTW, is it just me, or does everyone else find him totally unappealing in every single way?
The White Awards - Every single woman on the planet
Fifi Box - I heard a sound bite of Fifi on the radio today where she lamented the fact that she decided to wear a white gown on the one weekend of the year when everyone was scrutinizing the most famous white dress of the century. Yeah.....this wasn't the greatest dress for her figure. It emphasizes her hips in a really, really bad way. I'm not a fan of bubble-type dresses at the best of times, and I think the less said about this one the better.
Giaan Rooney - I don't mind this. The black part is rather plain, but I think the ruffle adds something nice. Not too over the top. Well done, Ms. Rooney.
Jessica Marais - I much preferred the ivory gown she wore two years ago, and judging by the look on her face I think she did too. I hate dresses with netting panels in them, and I think the dress would have been a lot nicer without them.
Virginia Gay - conversely, this dress just seems like there's TOO MUCH fabric around her decolletage. Like her shoulders are drowning in gathered fabric or something, and about to converge up her neck onto her face. I think it could have been finished off a bit better around the shoulders - less fabric covering her with a little hint of cleavage and she wouldn't have looked so....encased in white. I mean, when looking at a dress makes you think of a mummy, it's too much. TOO MUCH, JERRY, TOO MUCH.
Natalie Grussseeewelllszzzzkiiizzszssz - or whatever her name is. This is blah. The tight bodice, the fishtail bottom, the print - it's just so dull.
Zoe Tuckwell-Smith - to be honest, I don't know who this is. But I do kind of love the vintage feel. The dress is nicely tailored, the train is subtle and the lace adds a nice soft touch. My only complaint is her hair. Seriously, she couldn't think of anything better to do with it than "wash hair, let it air dry while I check my Facebook, then show up at Logies" ?
Rebecca Gibney - she's wearing Lisa Ho, and I think it's nice and age appropriate. The gentle rouching turns what could be a boring column dress into a pretty gown. I just wish she would STAND UP STRAIGHT.
But the best dressed in the White Dress Category? For me, it's a tie:
Lee Furlong - I think it's a smidge too big, but other than that I like it. Simple accessories and a fun high ponytail type of hair-do and it's the perfect way to wear white.
Megan Gale - same as above, but substitute ponytail with bun. I do think leaving her hair down would have looked really sensational against the white, but I just love this. The neckline in particular is really stylish.
The Colour Award - Carrie Bickmore
I looooooove this colour. LOVE IT. But, like Lee Furlong above, I think it's too big for her. Also her hair style aged her about ten years and made her forehead look massive. Shame.
The Garbage Bag Award - Catherine McClements
The Fetch Award - Jessie J
God, stop trying to make Jessie J happen, It's not going to happen, okay?
The Home Made Award - Melissa Bergland
Again, I love this colour, but the cut of the dress is really bad. To begin with, the hem looks like something she did in Year 8 Textiles class. I also really do not clear for the netting sleeves. Nice neckline though.
The Mixed Media Award - Terri Biviano
Is it leather? Is it chiffon? Who knows. All I know is that it's some kind of weird cowgirl chic. All she needs is a cowboy hat and a denim jacket with the sleeves cut off and she's ready for the rodeo.
The Princess Award - Anna O'Byrne
The colour is so freaking awesome, and I love the texture on the bodice. I'm not one for big, princess skirts, but I think she looks lovely and the dress is a beautiful choice against her pale skin.
The Huh, She's Wearing Clothes Award - Brynne Edelsten
I love the colour, but it looks like Freddy Kruger was waving his hands around as she walked past and tore the bodice to shreds. Also, why did she use a trowel to apply her make up? And finally, have you ever heard this woman interviewed? It's like talking to a brick wall. Seriously, there's just no personality there. Apparently she's going to be on the new season of Dancing With The Stars, so if you watch the show you'll be treated to lots of lovely awkward silences and monosyllabic answers to the judges. Good luck with that.
The Print Award - Lauren Newton
While I don't think this pattern is quite formal enough for an awards show, I think it's a nice style. The knife pleats add a nice texture to the skirt and the colours look great on her. But, like so many others, I wish she would have done something with her hair other than "brush it."
The I'm Not Sure Award - Catriona Rowntree
I love the black overlay on the pink, especially on the train, but I think the one shoulder looks a bit lopsided, which on a woman is never good. Get rid of it and she would have had a stunning strapless dress.
The Camouflage Award - Michelle Bridges
It's never good when your skin is the same colour of you dress. Although I wish my arms were that toned. Mine are more of the.....floppy variety.
The Crotch Awards - various people
The women of Sass & Bide (who I find to be really pretentious and constantly over-tanned, FYI)
Sonia Kruger helps me sum it up best: ladies, if you have to look down to check that your business isn't on display, your split is too high or your skirt is too short.
The 80s Award - Katy Perry
Her sleeves are basically the size of her head. And she seems to be on her way to feeling her crotch on the red carpet. I cannot explain either of these two things. Also, her lips are suspiciously fuller than usual. Cute shoes though.
The I Get It Award - Esther Anderson
If I was wearing a dress like this.....
I would totally be doing that all night too.
The Neutral Award - Shelley Craft
The colour is a tiny bit bland, but I really like the style. I am really into shoulder ruffles apparently. Believe me, I'm as surprised at that as everyone else. But I think she looks great - good hair, good make up and a figure hugging dress with minimal accessories. A win all around.
The Best Dressed Award - Rachel Finch