Anyway, let's get stuck into it.
It gets better than this, I promise. Mostly.
The Metallics Award
There's always a handful of them and this year they were mostly 'meh' for me.
I love Ms. Deeley, and this is nice on her. But it's just really....meh, you know? Also, the bustline is dangerously close to sliding down, which I'm sure can happen when you're about five thousand feet tall. Let's hike that thing up about five inches, shall we?
First of all, is anyone else bothered by the tan lines from her bathing suit? I get that it's Summer and she's been on hiatus from Mad Men, but someone really should have bronzed those white patches up. Also, her hair is awful. Why does she not have a good hairdresser? The dress itself I quite like - she's finally wearing something that flatters her because it actually FITS HER BODY SHAPE. This has been a long time coming for Moss.
Like Cat Deeley, this is nice on her, but it's very meh overall. I think the silver sunburst circles are nice, but I really wish she had done something with her hair so that it didn't look like she'd just come from the beach.
First up: LAY OFF THE BRONZER. People, there is such a thing as too much bronzer/fake tan. Cut it out. Anyway. The dress: the fabric looks really cheap. The silver colour is awesome, but I think it needed to be more of a sparkly chiffon look and less of a stripper spandex appearance.
The Undecided Award
I love this colour. I love the swishy train. I'm just not sold on the bunchy, high neckline. Or her rather severe-looking wavy hair. No matter how many times I look at this photo, I really can't make up my mind.
I love the mix of blue and black sparkles. But it has a slightly eighties vibes to it, which I don't like. Also, I think Claire goes for straight bustline strapless gowns and no discernable hairstyle looks a little too much. This one falls in the undecided column for me.
The Basic Black Award
Evan Rachel Wood
Love this look. The cut and style is just so classic and chic, and the soft sparkle really lifts the dress from boring black to stunning.
The WTF? Award
A midriff? Why? Why? It's not 1994. If this bodice had been one complete piece of fabric, I suspect I would have loved it. But it's a definite WTF, hell no from me.
The Understated Award
This is gorgeous. The colour is a little bit bland, but the lace, pleats and gathers are so flattering, and it's a really lovely style on her. Thumbs up, Julia. Thumbs up.
The It Could Have Been A Lot Worse Award
So I guess she was there because of The Kennedys? Whatever. I was expecting something a LOT worse. I like the colour, and while the dress is a little bit too simple, I think she hasn't tried to do anything too adventurous, so I'm surprised and mildly pleased with her effort. Although her hair is basically what mine looks like on the weekend while I vaccuum, but we can't win them all.
The Unflattering Award
Arg. This is just so unflattering for a tall woman. Her torso looks cut in half and I really hope she changed into something else during the show. This is just really bland and not at all what I expected.
The You're Getting There Award
So of course she's going to show the girls off a little bit. But thank goodness they're not up around her chin again. I don't think silver is the best colour on her, but I quite like the dress itself. Although I would have preferred it without the split at the front - it looks a bit like it's going to actually split apart. I much prefer the second picture where I can pretend the front is all joined up nicely.
The Limelight Stealing Award
Charlie's Angels - It's either going to get canceled immediately or enjoy some moderate success for about thirteen episodes. Anyway, I know who Rachel Taylor is and who Minka Kelly is, but Annie Ilonzeh I hadn't heard of, and apparently not many other people have either because I could not find a photo of her posing on her own on the red carpet. Her dress looks absolutely stunning. The colour, the bodice, everything about it looks perfect, but her two co-stars are totally lapping up the attention while annoyingly shielding her from view. Get out of the way!
The Ruffles Award
Okay, the skirt looks pretty cool. But the bodice is so sharp compared to the soft skirt. Also, why is her hair three feet tall? This is a bit of a bizarre look and I'm disappointed.
I suspect this is what Ms. Morris was going for. Blunt almost totally nailed it. Morris....did not.
The Surprisingly Nice Award
This is cute. Kind of retro and sparkly, and I love the dark eye make up and straight ponytail. Also her implants look like they're incognito, which after watching the Hawaii episode of Modern Family is totally surprising (seriously - those puppies were like two jelly moulds sitting about four kilometres apart on her chest in that episode). I quite like this.
The Pink Award
Why does she not get red carpet fashion? This is nice, if you lived in a doll's house and drank tea all day while sitting on teeny, tiny furniture. In real life it just looks like a tulle cupcake.
Like Heather Morris of the ill-fated ruffles above, I suspect Rashida's look is sort of what Jayma was going for. Rashida looks feminine and pretty and the pink is lovely on her. Much better than Jayma's frou frou nightmare. I love that Rashida teamed it with a punchy plum lipstick.
The NO Award
Just....Seriously. What the hell is this? It's like she killed a thousand poodles to make the hem of her skirt. And she's another one with too much bronzer.
Even though she won (although I suspect most of that was due to Bridesmaids based on what I've seen of Mike & Molly), this is really unflattering. Amber Riley's stylist could really give her a few pointers on dressing for her shape.
The Beautiful Award
See what I mean? Girlfriend knows how to dress. The colour is lovely and the jewelled neckline/shoulders brings a bit of bling. Love it, but I'm not suprised - she manages to bring it to the red carpet every single time.
The Hot Mess Award
What is this? No, really. WHAT IS THIS? Why is her bodice made of spray painted cardboard? Why has her designer hung plastic jewels on there? Why is the skirt so stiff and boring? Why is her hair so terrible? Why to ALL OF IT. I don't understand.
The Red Award
This is all right. I feel like the top of it is about two sizes too big, and her hair is so unbelievably drab, but the colour is nice, I guess.
She has major helmet hair at the back and the dress itself is nothing special. I mean, it's fine. It's really just...fine.
Okay, she kind of looks like she had to be sewn into her gown, but the sharp neckline angles and the amazing layered mermaid skirt look stunning on her, and the necklace is a nice simple touch.
Apparently this is more orange than red, but to be honest out of all the red ladies, she totally nailed it. Clingy with pleats is kind of her style, but the one shoulder adds a nice touch and she looks gorgeous.
The Dark Horse Award
At first this reminded me a little bit too much of the brown velour couch we had in our house growing up, but the more I look at it, the more I like the two tone shades of brown coming through. I think (like a few other gowns) it's a wee bit low cut and that takes away from the dress somewhat, but honestly, I did not expect to like Wiig's dress as much as this. She's always been a bit bland on the red carpet to me, so this is a nice surprise.
The Perfect Award
This is one of the most beautiful dresses of the night. Honestly, there's nothing I can fault - the colour is lovely, the sparkle is lovely, the cut is lovely. It's just a perfect gown.
The Colour Award
I LOVE this colour. LOVE IT. It looks fabulous on her and the dress itself is soft and feminine without being too slouchy up top. Simple, understated jewellery and this is my favourite of the night (with Plimpton running a very close second).
So, your thoughts? Let me know who your hits and misses were in the comments!