Oscars 2012 Fashion Hits and Misses

Well. After lacklustre fashion at the Golden Globes, I am quite pleased with the range of colour and style on the red carpet. Which is obviously why they have the Oscars: to please me, of course.

So. Let's check out the fashion!

But first please enjoy Jean Dujardin making a funny face.

The Superior Being Award - Gwyneth Paltrow

So glad Gwyneth was able to hop off her gluten free, lactose free, toxin free, flavour free spaceship as she forms a superior race on planet GOOP to visit the lesser beings of earth. The cape is a bit WTF, but she really does rock the white sheath dress, so she gets a pass from me.

The Well Done Award - Kristen Wiig and Tina Fey

Kirsten Wiig's red carpet choices are kind of off centre, and sometimes they're just not quite right. She does like a neutral, and this dress, while neutral, is a nice style. The skirt is quite cute without being over the top and she's kept the accessories simple. Her Bridesmaids co-writer Annie Mumolo looks really nice as well - I love that colour.

Tina Fey gets it wrong A LOT. This dress is SUCH a nice choice. Subtle colour, nice style and totally flattering on her. I don't love the tiered skirt, but frankly, when compared to the MET ball jumpsuit of horror, this is fantastic.

The Ocean Award - Berenice Bejo

I was so disapointed with Berenice. The bad orange hair dye job may be for a movie or it may just be for fun. Either way it's really bad for her skin tone. The dress itself if also kind of blah. The colour makes me think of the ocean before a storm, which sounds nice but is actually kind of murky in real life. The style is nice....so, there's that?

The ......I like it.....Maybe? Award - Sandra Bullock

I really like the black and white being broken up by the gold at the waist, but the white bodice is so loose. It's like she's tried to wear something she can eat a really big meal before the ceremony and no one will notice, which, let's face it, we all try to do now and then when we're eating carbs all day. But for the Oscars? I think it really needed to be more fitted to her frame. Her make up looked flawless though. She is really, really aging well. I need to know how she's doing that.

The It Ain't Easy Being Green Award - Viola Davis

Sooooo, disappointing. The breast separation is just weird, and the mish mash of fabric textures is really strange. This is kind of like an experimental gown, maybe made by a design student or something. For a kick-ass nominee like Ms. Davis, this is so sample sales rack. She's too good for the sales rack. TOO GOOD! I would change about four things on it and THEN it would be gorgeous.

The Neutral Award - Penelope Ann Miller

Simple, but gorgeous. I sense a career comeback in the works!

The RED Award - Michelle Williams and Natalie Portman

I really, really don't like the tiered skirt. On such a detailed lace it kind of takes away from the overall effect Also, sometimes I get a bit sick of Michelle Williams kind of posing like a china doll. I would like to see her relax a bit on the red carpet. She does rock the colour though.

Natalie also rocks the colour. Her make up is nice, but her hair is really blah. Like she ran out of time before running out the door. Well, she does have a young child, so I understand that. But Natalie's dresses always seem a little bit high school formal to me and this one is no exception. Nice, but a bit prom-esque. I think it's the polka dot fabric. I am not a fan.

The Age Appropriate Award - Glenn Close, Meryl Streep and Bo Derek

This. Is. Stunning. THAT IS ALL.

Meryl must have known she was going to win, because why else would she dress just like the statue? Nice style, but it's kind of...metallic in a bad way. It's too much. I want to like it, but it's kind of jarring and I feel like a pair of sunglasses to look at it.

I love this. The colour, the cut, the fit, her expression. She's basically looking at the camera and thinking "Yeah, I look amazeballs. Did you expect anything less?"

The MUCH BETTER Award - Busy Phillips

Remember the piece of CRAP caftan Busy wore to the Globes? She must have had MUCH more warning for the Oscars. Or someone pulled her aside and told her beach wear is not suitable for the red carpet, because this is so much better. Like, one billion times better. I love the colour and the texture, and it fits her beautifully. Not so sure about the pink shoes, but let's not get too nit-picky when she's done such a good job. Also, how cute is it that Busy and Michelle Williams are BFFs and Michelle brings Busy as her date to awards shows? I love it. Dawson's Creek represent!

The FOR GOD'S SAKE GET A BETTER STYLIST Award - Rose Byrne

The bottom half of this dress makes me think of a Kimono. It looks so tightly bound around her legs that she has to do a Geisha-like shuffle down the red carpet. Basically, this could have been a LOT better. As usual for Rose, unfortunately. She's so pretty! Why doesn't she have a good stylist? WHYYYYYYY.

The FLEE, FLEE Award - Princess Charlene of Monaco

I feel like Princess Charlene of Monaco's eyes are screaming "Help Meeeeee!" Why are they even at the Oscars anyway? I feel so sorry for her. At leas her dress is nice I guess. Still, I think given five minutes alone she would be up and out of the bathroom window before Prince Albert knew what had happened.

The Texture Award - Jessica Chastain

Jessica Chastain is so pretty. But I really don't know about this dress. It kind of looks like the curtains in a Renaissance mansion in Europe. The kind of thing that in context looks amazing (ie. in a Medici-esque palace hanging from the walls it would be gorgeous), but in the wild it's kind of....a lot to take in. Also, it looks really heavy. I suspect I would be sweating like a pig in this dress all night. Your thoughts?

The Poser Award - Angelina Jolie

There have been theories going around that Angelina's posing was kind of a big private joke and that she was doing it on purpose. I don't know...it seemed quite deliberate to me. Regardless, we get it. You have a crotch level split in your skirt. No need to show off the ladygarden for free. As for the dress itself, I find it too busy and kind of boring at the same time. I really, really wish Angelina would wear a colour that isn't black, white or neutral.

The White Awards - Various people

Rooney Mara - this looks like she has fish scales on her boobs. The bottom half is okay, but it's nothing to write home about.

Jennifer Lopez - There is also something marine-esque about this. I do like a good, sharp knife pleat, but I suspect that without the arm cut-outs I would like it a lot more. Also, is it just me, or has J-Lo had this hairstyle many times before?

I am not even going to mention how heinous her hair is right now. Such a mistake. The dress, though, is really dull up the top and at the bottom it looks like someone tried to put it through a shredder. I am not a fan.

Octavia Spencer - PERFECTION. Absolute perfection.

The Effortless Award - Penelope Cruz

This is so Grace Kelly. And it's so not a dress I would normally go for. But there's something about it that I just love. The colour, the jewellery, the hair, everything. It's just stunning.

The Worst Dressed Award - Melissa McCarthy

NO. It's unflattering, there's too much going on, and it's just not good. At all. I'm so disappointed.

The Best Dressed Award - TIED!

Emma Stone - A lot of people didn't like the bow, but I kind of love it. The colour is just lovely - kind of red with a raspberry pink tinge to it and the style just flatters her unbelievably well. I love it.

Milla Jovovich - This also grabbed my attention. The sparkles brought from nice to gorgeous. I love the way the asymmetrical style across the bodice draws the eye from the one shoulder to the small train in such a subtle way, and the simple earrings and red lipstick are just beautiful. This probably edges out Emma Stone just slightly, but they're both my favourite looks of the night.

What did you think?

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