Monday, November 8, 2010

2010 ARIA Award Fashion

Look, I didn't watch the ARIA Awards. I kind of forgot it was on, then whenever I flicked over to it there was random sutff going on out the front of the Opera House and the crowd didn't seem that enthused by it all, so my husband took over the TV and ended up watching his recorded Formula 1 Brazil Highlights (someone beat their own time by ONE SECOND!!)

But. The ARIAs do bring out the quirky/ugly/pretty parade every year, so let's take a look at my fashion hits and misses.

The Irrelevant Award - Jane Gazzo
Dear Jane: It is no longer 1997, you are no longer a "cool" triple J radio announcer and no one really gives a shit about your weird-ass red carpet "outfit." Please stop.

The I'm Working at the After Party to Earn Some Cash Award - Brooke Fraser
She's obviously so hard up for cash that she couldn't afford a red carpet outfit and her work uniform, so she just had to wear her work gear. How embarrassing.

The I Broke Up With My High Profile Boyfriend Earlier This Year and My Attendance At the ARIAs Is The Only Thing That Might Keep Me In The Tabloids Because I Don't Have Much Else Going On Award - Lara Bingle
(AKA The I'm Unemployed, Please Help! Award)
Whew, that Award category title was long. Also, this dress is really boring. Girlfriend needs to wear something a little more exciting if she wants anyone to take an interest in her.

The I'm Bored Award - Lisa Mitchell
"oh.....I'm at the ARIAs? Wow.......I wonder if anyone would notice if I took a nap under the table during the ceremony....."
Also, I want to grab this dress and hike it up about three inches. This look would have worked if she had left her hair down in a nice, classic wave over one shoulder and if her make up was a bit heavier. She is bordering on bland.

The It's So Hard to Dress Like a Peasant Award - Isabel Lucas
Honestly, this whole look is just so done to death at the every single teenage girl going to a Summer music festival who stopped in at Dotti/Forever New/Sportsgirl/insert big brand chain store name here and put together an outfit that is supposed to seem casually thrown together in that peasant-like way, but actually took them about an hour and a half to select exactly the right leather strip headband thingie to place over their artfully messy hair to complete the "look."

The Speaking of Summer Music Festivals Award - Angus and Julia Stone
"Hey guys. We're just on our way to Good Vibes/Laneway/Falls Festival/Pyramid/Summer Dayz/Port Fairy/Insert any other multitude of Summer music festival names here and we accidentally wandered onto the red carpet. The fact that we are one of the most nominated acts tonight made no difference to our wardrobe choices. Actually, wait. that's a lie. Angus is wearing his good hipster Docs and his best ratty, disgusting white t-shirt, and I did choose my nicest dressing gown to wear for the evening. No wonder we won - how can people not love these ensembles?"

The Meh Award - Carmen Electra
Take away the chiffon cap sleeves and this dress would be super cute. But the shoes are causing huge issues for me. Who pairs a sparkly silver dress with sparkly silver shoes? It's total overkill, but the whole look is a bit snooze-worthy to me. Also, does anyone else think Carmen could be Lauren Conrad's older sister? They are so similar it is spooky.

The Golden Garbage Bag Award - tied between Sia and one of the Nervo sisters
Two ladies enter.
Both are wearing gold rubbish bags.
One of them has a smiley face on theirs.
One does not.
The lady who doesn't takes one look at her opponent and thinks "Dammit. That bitch."

The Apron Award - Ruby Rose
So, Ruby Rose is apparently having cash flow issues as well? Because that is the only thing that can justify the fact that she is wearing an apron to a red carpet event. I mean, did her boss lady get home late and wouldn't let her go until she finished polishing all the silverware and vacuuming under the couch cushions? I just don't understand. Well, at least she dressed it up with a bow across her bust line I suppose.

The You Almost Made It Award - Jessica Mauboy
Take away the weird shoulder decoration and the too-tight hair and this look would have been amazing. The colours are awesome on her, but the hair is too severe and is looks like a constellation of planets is attempting to nest on her left shoulder.

The Cute As A Button Award - Megan Washington
Yes, it kind of looks like she's naked under this, but there is a flesh coloured underlay. I love this. It's feminine, a bit rock and roll and kind of quirky, but with the short hair, smoky eyes and simple shoes it's adorable on her.

The Sex Bomb Award - Runner up: Ricki Lee Coulter
She's curvy and she's not afraid to show it. The colour is gorgeous, the hair is simple and sexy and the shoes compliment the look perfectly.

The Sex Bomb Award - Winner: DJ Havana Brown
Ignore the orange legs for a minute. This is a really perfect ensemble. It's sexy without being over the top, the accessories and shoes are perfect and she looks amazing in it. My fashion winner of the night. Pin It


Petite Carousel said...

Jane who?

I'm so glad I didn't catch the ARIAs... hope you had a great weekend though =)))

suezac said...

OK I admit it. I laughed out loud.

Julia R said...

Petite, she's a Triple J radio DJ. Was around a lot in the late nineties, but now she just seems like she's trying too hard!

suesac, thanks for reading (and laughing)!

Mel said...

I love your review of Arias fashion! Couldn't agree more haha.

Julia R said...

Thanks for reading Mel. I love doing award show fashion reviews - celebs are so easy for the picking when it comes to fashion!

Anonymous said...

crap....i hope you don't analyse what your friends wear!!! OWCH!!! hehehehe

kelinci said...

Congrats award show fashion.